


you're like a laserlight [burning down on me]

by panther



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Redemption, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-13 20:37:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5716279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panther/pseuds/panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The force makes them aware of each other after starkiller, perhaps too aware. He seeks her out and a battle turns to lust until he tries to flee her and his later  attempts end up with him out cold and in a resistance base with her watching over him. </p><p>Kylo is not as dark as people think and neither is Rey so light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> seems fandom is calling this the trash ship but all aboard tbh. It ain't incest until at least a year and frankly Leia kissed Luke so there. Also this was meant to be a short kink fill but I'm in love with this ship and I think I need a wee wip progress for myself. It will help me wind down after dissertation study sessions. Just urgh, if they are related no one told Adam and Daisy. 
> 
> Also this is meant to end up with the prompt of 'fisting/her tiny hands' so keep that in mind. 
> 
> Also seducing Kylo home with sexy times? It needs to happen. 
> 
> Updates will be whenever! I know some reylo authors are super fast but I do have a dissertation and shizz so when I can! R&R and all that jazz

Kylo finds her on Jakku first, a month after their battle. He has no business there but his attempted interrogation of her created a link between them that they simply can't seem to shut out. Force Users are aware of others and since there are so of them in the galaxy and neither Kylo nor Rey has been given the sufficient training to block the other they find themselves always aware. Luke has not got that far. Snoke never saw the point with his plan so well executed in the first place. 

They fight again in the scrap yard that was her home after he discovers she is there trying to recruit this distant half forgotten planet to the Republic's cause. They don't realise they are moving towards the edge of a sandy cliff until their sabers have gone flying and they are tumbling down the crumbling hotness beneath them.

He lands at the bottom and gasps for air as Rey immediately lands on top. He moves to get up as she tries to shift to her knees and he ends up bracing himself on one hand with her knee pressed to his groin. For a split second they don't move and then their hands are all over each other and he's kissing her and trying to find friction off her knee. He had already been half-hard when they started to fall. She just does that to him. 

Her hand palms at his trousers and he moans into her mouth. No one has ever touched him like that. As a bulled teenager at his uncle's school he was not desired and as a malicious agent of the First Order he was feared. It startles him and makes him desperate. They are both kneeling now and he sucks at the sweat of her collarbone. It is sweet and somewhat repulsive but it causes her to make that _sound_ and so he sucks harder. Nimble tiny fingers shove his belt a little further up his tunic and then force their way below the waistline of his trousers. He chokes into her shoulder and is mortified to find himself coming over her hand within a few strokes. 

"Kylo?"

It jolts him back to himself and he ludicrously finds his hands sorting _her_ clothes before righting his own and getting to his feet. Without a word he summons his saber from the dunes with the force and marches off towards the settlement he left his ship at. Across the bond they formed months ago he feels her bewilderment and still thudding heartbeat and is thankful that she does not follow. He wants nothing more to do with her and as long as Snoke does not demand he seek her out he will put himself as far from her as possible.

*

He cannot stop thinking about her. Or dreaming about her. Rey and her tiny nimble hands and all they could achieve. 

Something starts to shift within him.  
*

The resistance gets braver and this time it is them that attack first. Kylo just happens to be on the moon to refuel his shuttle before going to do checks on the academies the troopers train at. Since FN-2187's betrayal Hux has been nervous and so have other Generals. He feels her the moment his father's old ship breaches the planet's atmosphere and instead of going to help in the defence he rushes to his ship and urges the droids to do their jobs faster.

He cannot be here.

He cannot be around _her_.

He gets so preoccupied with getting off the planet that he loses concentration and does not know anything about the direct hit his section of the base takes until he wakes up in a resistance medical bay with Ray reading a holopad at his bedside.

Well. Fucking. Shit.

*

She feels the moment that he awakens just as she felt the moment he lost consciousness. His shuttle took most of the hit, sitting in the open hanger bay as it was, but the explosion ignited the gas tanks being used to refuel it. Kylo had been thrown back into the cold metal walls and then been hit with several stun blasts before handcuffs to severe his connection to the force had been clamped on him. General Organa had ordered his seclusion in the medical bay and Luke Skywalker had aided in using old technology to block the whole room to the force. 

It makes Rey feel nervous. She does not need the force to see that he is slowly realising what has happened too. 

"What is-"

"Your uncle's work. When you...when the temple happened he went searching for many things from the past. This is one of them."

"It is _barbaric_!" He spits, chest heaving with the effort of trying to get up and failing due to the physical restraints also imposed on him. He is a tall man and only one with great physical fitness and strength could wield a blade as well as him. Rey is suddenly very aware of why the restraints exist and her own small frame. "I have _always_ felt-" 

He falls silent, clearly feeling that he is giving too much away. 

"I feel very awkward." Rey supplies to fill the gap because sooner or later he is going to ask why she is there and that is not an answer she is willing to give him. She is not a good liar. She can withhold information from him but lying is something else. He would never believe she is here as some sort of guard, not with her own connection to the force broken inside the four small walls. 

He stares at her and then around the room. "Where are my clothes?"

"Most of them are gone. You were hit by a fuel explosion near your shuttle. They were aflame when we got to you. You're lucky you didn't, well..."

She lowers her gaze and can't help but think of his grandfather who lost so much to fire. Kylo has burns but nothing that time will not heal. His habit of wearing many layers bought him enough time. Those who found him doused the flames before stunning him because they are not barbaric murders like his side are. Or something like that. 

She gets to her feet and shifts across until she can perch on the edge of his bed. He does not release his restraints and that is mostly because she does not know how. He peers at her curiously as she slips her pinkies under the metal and messages his wrist before meeting his eyes for a split second before crossing around the bed to do the same to his other hand. 

"Why am I still alive?"

She stills, drawing her pinkie across the top of his wrist, shuddering when she feels a scar across the length of it. Rey squeezers her eyes shut and bites her lower lip before leaning down and pressing her lips to his. He is still for a second and then his tongue is at her lower lip. She gives herself to him, hears the frustrated tugs at the restraints and pulls back. Rey's forehead meets Ren's. "Because I asked them to save you."

And before he has time to even attempt to process that she has fled the room, leaving a puzzled, intrigued and more than a little turned on Kylo Ren.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia visits her son and Rey begins to try persuade him to stay with her.

Only droids enter the room for three days. Rey does not return and no one else comes. He is fed and watered and not much else. He always thought he could survive without human contact and speech until he finds that he cannot. His mind searches for hers but she pushes him away. 

When he feels someone with the force come towards him he begins to hope but it is dashed when his mother crosses the threshold. He does not know what to think so in place of that so he clings to the irritation that it is not Rey. 

"She's busy." Leia says while taking a seat. "Yeah, I know more than you think I do. I just had no reason or chance to come a Jedi or anything."

He does not answer her. 

"Getting blown up because you don't to talk to a girl. It doesn't seem very Sith of you but it sure seems a lot like my Ben."

"Ben's dead."

Leia smiles, not looking at Kylo but at the bed sheets around him. "If you say so. Forgive a mother for clinging to hope. It is what we do. I notice you don't deny the girl part. "

"What will become of me?"

"Become of you?" Leia laughs and shifts in her seat, pats his knees through the fabric. "That depends on you, to be honest. You will be sealed in this room for now with visitors. The shields will hold so don't get any ideas about that. More will be brought to you as times goes on."

"The more you trust me."

"Something like that. How are you feeling, Ben?"

For a moment he doesn't want to answer because that is no longer his name but something tells him that it is the only name he is going to get from her while stuck here and the silence has been making him edgy.

"Better. I am nearly fully healed. " A lie. His side burns and his wrists ache but he is not going to give that away. She will now it anyway from the readings from the blasted droids. 

"Rey asked that we bring you alive. There is something between you."

"There is nothing." He snaps.

His mother laughs. "If it was nothing you would not have reacted, son. I have the force you know. I can sense events. Feelings. Images."

With that she gets to her feet and reaches over to place a kiss on his forehead before she adjusts his sheets and leaves the room. It takes him a day to realise that the resistance was closer to Jakku than he thought. It takes him a few moments after that to nearly through up at the implications. His mother knew. 

Gross.

*

Two days pass and then Rey is back. 

"Scavenger."

She laughs and it is light and airy and something curls in his stomach. "Is that all that is left of you? Pathetic insults."

He says nothing and instead watches her smile. It is beautiful. 

She finds his gaze as she drifts towards his bed. He is allowed to sit up now and able to change clothes himself. 

"I am glad to see you are well."

"That makes no sense." He rumbles.

"You think yourself so detached, so alone, so deep but you are not. I feel it." Rey says lowly, her hand at his around the restraints that no longer hold him.. 

"You know nothing." 

"I know you." She says without shifting her gaze. "I am glad to see you well. Deal with it."

She infuriates him. Her small nimble hands are clasped around the ledge of his window and they do not remain still. They flex and move and she is totally unaware of it. He remembers her touch and wishes he did not. Her fingers pause and she turns on her heel and meets his gaze. He would say something to push her away but she is breathing as harshly as he is. 

"They will try to retrieve me."

Her laughter is light and dark at the same time. He stiffens as he feels her mind project an image to his. "Hux is not in any position to tie his own shoelaces right now never mind to try and recue you." 

No, Hux is badly injured and Phasma is dead. The Order has scattered. She watches him closely for a reason but he can't find himself caring enough to produce one. Something inside his chest that has been tight for a long time loosens a little. Rey moves closer to his bed and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "They put so much faith in what you could do that they never thought to think of what it would be like if we had one too."

"One what?"

 _A gifted one_ , she whispers against his mind. He lets his eyelids flutter shut for a second and breathes in her scent. She smells of wet grass and sweat. An image of her training in the rain filters across his conscious. He senses her move closer, feels her ghosting her fingers at the edge of the mattress before she sits down slowly.

_I could-_

_Let me kiss you. _And he does o very glad that this time he is not being held down. Her soft lips meet his and he kisses her greedily, hand slipping around her waist and another around her back until he can pull her further up onto the bed with him. She laughs softly.__

__"I don't think you want to leave me, Kylo Ren. I don't think you want to go back to that life."_ _

__She is right. He is not going to tell her that. Fear of Snoke blares across his brain but she is tutting and kissing him again. _We can get rid of them together_._ _

__"Why are you so...happy with me? Why are you...being this way?"_ _

__She pulls away and shifts until she can press her back to the wall and tuck one leg over his and bury her face into his shoulder. She shifts a few more times and he waits patiently. "When you blacked out part of my brain just died. There was nothing there. It was empty and cold and horrible. I never want to feel that again. I won't go dark and I won't let you go back and you're just going to need to deal with that."_ _

__There are vague plans to kill and bring down the remnants of the Order and start some sort of whole new world with his hand in hers and he nearly chokes at how naive she can be. "You're so determined."_ _

___I am yours. You are mine. We cannot go back._ _ _

__It is too much to think about so he settles for shifting them both on the bed again until she is on her back and he is hovering over her. Mortified he has to take a couple of seconds to breathe because his side is searing and then her fingers are pawing at his tunic and then she is growling and forcing him back until his button is sitting on his feet and she is tugging it off him._ _

__"You impossible man. I will bring patches for that later."_ _

__Later. Not now. Her cheeks pinken as he puts it together and the way she falls back onto the pillows is a challenge. She projects images from before and it is like a poking reminder that while he came before she did not. She quirks an eyebrow and he wonders why he ever thought she was just an innocent girl from the sands._ _

__"I don't...I mean, I haven't like, done stuff but...well I grew up in a dive. You hear things."_ _

__He gulps. He is far from an expert. Stars he hopes she does not have _expectations_. His hands feel clammy. "You know. _Things_. Things I do to myself that you could d-" _ _

__And she needs to stop talking right fucking now before he comes like a teenager. He is a thirty year old man for star's sake. He gets the message though and while he kisses her gently his hands are rough at his leggings, tugging impatiently and feeling a flare of outrage that the damn things dare get stuck at her ankles. She is giggling until he slips two fingers into her heat and suddenly she isn't._ _

__No, instead she is making ludicrous noises that are not helping him concentrate on finding that bundle of nerves inside her _at all_. She breathes and pants at him more than she kisses him and somehow that is deeply erotic to Kylo. Rey shifts on the bedding and then pulls up her knee and slings her leg up and around his waist. _ _

___Soon, soon, soon, _her mind hums and he is no longer sure if she means she will come soon or if she wants him to fuck her soon because her position is showing him just how well he'd fit. _Both_ echoes dimly. She loosens more and more as he sucks at her shoulder and presses against hot flesh. He is deeply satisfied when her ankle digs painfully into his back and she tenses all over before groaning obscenely and going limp. Gasping for air himself he rocks back on his ankles himself and shoves his hand down his trousers to pull impatiently at his cock until he is sated. __ _ _

____Weakly, he gets to his feet and goes to clean himself up and bring a damn cloth for Rey. There are many more things to talk about but for now Kylo will just settle for lying in a heap next to Rey and breathing._ _ _ _


End file.
